I've finally surrendered I'm tired.
I wanna take a break from the social world.
Time for myself, I need a holiday badly, even if it is to rent a place in Malaysia to stay for a few days.
I need time alone badly, inside me is breaking really breaking.
I'm tired of facing people day in day out.

Today I was officiating for a swim for the disabled in Singapore Sports School, I've learnt a lot from the officiating.
I've come to realize how bless am I, and how wonderful these disabled people are when they compete in the swimming meet.
I admired those who teaches them how to swim, how much patience is needed to teach them how to swim.
If they are disabled and they can do so much, why can't we as able do more...
I admired how much they try to be like normal human beings.
My heart goes out to them seriously.
After sharing this with one of my bro, he said unfortunately not everyone have the willpower like them.
Which is so true, they really have a lot of willpower to be able to swim well.

Another thing, this few days I've been staying at Bedok.
Few years back I met this 50 plus guy who is disabled selling tissue packets for a living.
Now when I am back at Bedok I bumped into him a few times when I'm Bedok hawker centre again.
Looking at him, my heart aches for him.
Few years back, his one leg was still straight, but after this few years have past, now I see his leg his leg is bend.
Everytime I see him I just can't help to just give him my $1 or even more money.
I see the way he goes round tables to tables with such heavy weight on his body on his one leg and walk table to table to sell 3 tissue packet for $1 just teaches me how much effort he takes to earn something that we easily take for granted.
$1 to me is only a small some of money for me to buy coffee but to him its money for living.
Here I'm writing about this is not to tell others how charitable I am, but it is how painful I see him work to earn  himself a living.
Everyday I see him does that and he sells tissue to about 11am, that's really tough.
I was eating dinner with my bro at night, he came by when we were leaving, I saw him taking a glance and me and giving me the eyes that tells me a message can you just buy 3 packets of tissues from me for $1, I need it. But I just had to walk away with my bro, because I was hesitating.
But as I cross the road, and my bro and me went separate ways, I can't hold my feelings anymore but just to walk back to the hawker centre to give him that $1 without taking any tissue packet from him.
He was so thankful with what I give.
I'm amazed with his thankfulness, at least I give to these ppl they appreciates unlike some friends who don't appreciates the effort I put in.
Sometimes these strangers makes me happier really.
Don't see that I am so strong on the outside, but I always have a soft heart and giving heart a heart that always cares for others.
I pray for God to watch over him and take more of his pain away.
Let me give as much as I can to those who are in need please.